


Surprises

by beespiesandplaid



Category: Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 11:13:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6852373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beespiesandplaid/pseuds/beespiesandplaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Magnus surprise Alec, and one time Alec surprises Magnus</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surprises

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to nightbloodstardust on tumblr for the prompt. Enjoy. :)

Magnus, having had several centuries of practice, was excellent at surprises. Not the nice, cute, romantic date type surprises (though Alec reckons he could probably pull them off, if he so wished) – no, the nearly-shit-your-pants and reflexively kill someone kind of surprise.

The first time Magnus surprised him was a few weeks after they have started dating. Alec was opening the fridge to get a water, and a severed hand jumped out at him. And spoke. From a tiny mouth on the palm of the hand.

“Darling?” the hand said, in Magnus’ voice. “Pour me a martini?”

Alec jumped, recovered himself, picked up the squirming hand and deposited it in the bin.

“Darling! Please! It’s dark in here – and it smells of bad takeout. Please!”

He didn’t pour Magnus a drink, but Magnus was too busy cackling at his own wit to notice.

 

The second time was the third night Alec slept over. He reached out in the night for Magnus, and instead found a giant doll. The creepy plastic kind with butt cheeks and everything. Alec screamed, kicked the baby across the room, and dived off the bed, dragging a snickering Magnus out from underneath it. “You know,” Alec said, quite conversationally, now that he had recovered his senses, “It’s really not a good idea to surprise a Shadowhunter. If you ever truly surprise me, you could lose a limb.”

“Well,” Magnus said, a little sulkily. “I’ve already lost a hand – I worked hard on that.”

“It was disgusting. Go to sleep.”

“You’re a terrible boyfriend.”

“And you’re just silly.”

Magnus kissed him, and the doll was forgotten (though it was still in the room, making Alec feel incredibly uncomfortable when he dressed the next morning.)

 

The third time was at the institute. Alec was training with Jace when Jace stopped still, open mouthed. Magnus was riding, naked, into the training room, on a white stallion. An actual, breathing, horse. In Brooklyn.

It was not so much scary as astonishing. Jace and Alec stood still, open mouthed, for several minutes. Magnus managed to hold onto his composure for a full minute before collapsing into laughter and sliding off the horse (at which point Jace’s jaw dropped further, and Alec almost combusted.) He strode over to Alec, kissed him on the cheek, and bent to grab Alec’s shirt, abandoned on a bench.

“I just thought I’d drop in, seen as I was passing by,” he said. He waved the shirt. “You don’t mind do you, darling? It’s a bit chilly out.”

He jumped back on the horse and left. Jace turned to him.

“He is – quite something, Alec.”

“You could say that,” Alec replied, hoping the horse had been conjured and would vanish before Magnus streaked through the city.

 

The fourth time was accidental – Magnus was on the toilet with the door open when Alec marched into the apartment. If Magnus was shocked, he hid it, instead greeting Alec politely. Alec stared at him, which was quite impolite.

“I – sorry,” he said. “I wasn’t sure… it’s very odd,” he blurts out.

Magnus raises an eyebrow.

“It never occurred to me that you did, you know, normal human things.”

“Alexander, dear, it’s a good job you’re such a good kisser.”

Alec walked into the lounge and sat on the sofa, slightly shell shocked.

 

The fifth time was a step too far. They were eating takeout. Alec had ordered dumplings – his favourite food. He raised one to his lips, ready to bite.

He only noticed Magnus watching him intently when it was too late. Juice spurted out and –

“Ugh!” Alec spat the dumpling into his hands. “ _What the hell was that?”_

“Dog food,” Magnus said with a grin, biting into his own, presumably untampered with, food.

“DOG FOOD! DOGS! I _HATE_ DOGS!”

“Calm down, darling.”

“Calm down! Calm down!” Alec stood up, hands on his hips. “You – you ruined my favourite food. I – I could cry right now, Magnus. Do you know what kind of day – no, week – I’ve had? Demons! Vampire blood feuds! I’ve been looking forward to those dumplings all day.”

Magnus looked quite sombre now. Alec’s hysteria faded and he sat on the couch, miserable.

“Darling – it was just a joke. I am sorry. I’ll switch the filling back.”

“Oh no,” Alec says. “I don’t want anymore of your dumplings. Order fresh ones. Properly. Delivered to the door.”

Magnus reluctantly picked up his mobile phone.

“Oh, and Magnus?” Alec said. “This isn’t the end of this. Watch your back.”

 

He spent two weeks plotting, thinking back through the past few months and working out what would surprise Magnus the most.

And then he figured it out. If it weren’t for it being his own idea, and if it weren’t for the sole purpose of flooring Magnus Bane with surprise, he’d never consider it. But it was his idea, and he needed revenge. So it was on.

“Lingerie?” Izzy said.

“Yes,” Alec replied. He had just explained.

“You want to shock your boyfriend… by wearing lingerie?”

“Well, it’ll work wont it?”

“I should say so. Alec – what did he do to you?”

Isabel’s concern is not surprising. Alec Lightwood had three outfits: Gear, a ratty sweater, or nothing at all. It had always been that way, and it would remain that way. Except for this one off event.

“He put dogfood in my dumplings,” Alec said grimly. Isabel winced.

“And you’re surprising him with sexy underwear? You must really love him.”

Alec groaned. “Is it bad revenge?”

“Well, do you want to make him suffer or do you want to surprise him?”

“Both,” Alec said, grinning. “The lingerie is the first part of the plan. The second part is to get dressed and go home once he has got past the surprise.”

Isabel claps him on the shoulder. “I’m proud of you, brother.”

 

Alec was in position. He had come to the conclusion that he was incredibly glad he was gay, because if removing clothing this complex was a routine part of sex, he’d be a virgin for life. There is a piece of lace travelling ever deeper up his butt and he has bows on both of his nipples. Beginning to doubt his plan, he looked at the clock. Two minutes.

Magnus unlocked the door to the apartment.

“Alec?”

“In here.”

“One second, let me just” Magnus entered the room, and stopped dead. His eyebrows vanish into his hair, his jaw dropped so far it almost dislocated. Alec felt a satisfied laugh bubbling up his throat.

Magnus shook his head. “Alexander…that looks”

“Surprising? Uncomfortable?” Alec supplied.

Magnus licked his lips, stepped closer. “Delightful.”

Alec sat up, firmly crossing his legs.

Magnus looked confused. Alec reached for his jacket.

“Alec?”

“Time for me to go,” Alec grinned.

“Go? But…”

“That,” Alec said, “Will teach you to mess with my food.”

“Alec, please – you… you look so very delicious.”

“Unlike my dumplings!” He is determined. He will not give in.

Magnus removed his shirt, slowly, dragging it over his head. He leaned closer, lips brushing Alec’s ear.

“Darling – stay. I promise I’ll leave your food alone. Just – here, let me help you with that…”

Alec gave in to Magnus’ mouth. The clothing caused as many problems as he had imagined, but at the end of it all, he didn’t regret a thing. His revenged had worked out quite well for both parties involved.


End file.
